Confusion
by Enough4Ever821
Summary: Bellas thoughts towards Edward and Jacob begin to be clouded as she looses control of her actions in a rampage of love and lust. this story is just fluff
1. Chapter 1

ok ive never written a story before...so im not sure if ive set this up right ir whatever so be gentle...and twilight isnt mine, its the fabulous stephenie meyers

Love is a battlefield

As I lay there I began to smile. I rolled onto my side and gazed at the bronze head which lay beside me. His eyes were closed, he looked so peaceful. Slowly, I leant over and kissed him, full on the lips. Opening one eye he peered up at me and chuckled lightly.

"I love you too Bella."

I grinned and pulled the covers high over my head. Suddenly I felt his sculpted body enclose around me and I was consumed by his heavenly scent. With one hand he slowly brought the blankets down beneath my chin and then rested his head on my chest. I bit down on my bottom lip and slowly emerged from my woollen cocoon. I couldn't stay; I promised Jacob I would visit him.

"Edward, I have to go…"

He groaned, he knew where I was going to go. "Five more minutes."

"Fine, but then I really do need to go." I giggled.

Edward grinned, pleased at my decision and took my delicate face in his hands. He softly grazed his lips across my nose and kissed me gently on my forehead. As we lay there in each others arms everything was perfect. But soon I realised that I would have to leave our wonderland and decided that the sooner I left the sooner I would return and sat up slowly.

"No, don't go." Edward pleaded.

"I'm sorry but I have to, don't worry I'll be back before you know it."

"At least let me drive you then. I am having recurring visions that your truck will break down in the middle of the highway"

"My truck is fine, besides, there isn't even a highway in Forks."

With that I stood and made my way to the staircase.

Driving to La Push went rather well. The truck only stalled 4 times, a pretty good trip in my opinion. As I drove up to Jacobs's house I saw him waiting for me on the porch. Something must be wrong, I thought to myself. He usually is working in the garage when I come over so why was he just, standing there? He came over to me as I was getting out of the truck. My toe caught on an idle rock and I began to fall but Jacob quickly grabbed me and held me steady.

"Whoa, thanks Jake, I owe you one."

"Its fine, I expect it now," He replied grinning broadly.

I punched him lightly on the arm and he quickly tried to suppress his laughter but with no success. He led me down to the beach and perched lightly on one of the salt-bleached logs. Jacob rubbed his palms on his jeans and then through his hair.

"Jake what's wrong? You seem so nervous." I asked, puzzled by his behaviour. We had always been so easy going around each other, what was so different now? "I know I haven't seen you in a while, but is there something else?"

Jacob bit his lip and looked up at me.

"Bella…you know I care about you."

"Of course, I care about you too Jake,"

"I know you do, but I _really_ care about you." He trailed off.

"Oh…"

I always knew that Jacob used to have feelings for me but I thought they were gone now, I thought we had just developed a mutual friendship over time. I guess not. Jacob put his head in his hands and slumped on the log.

"I never should have said anything."

I went over to him and sat beside him on the log.

"No, no it's fine. Jake you're my best friend; I don't want anything to come between us. Do you understand?" I took his hand in mine and held it up to my chin.

"Yeah, course. I get it. But, I, I just can't help it. You're just so…wonderful." He looked up at me through his wide glowing eyes. I didn't want to hurt him. But I couldn't give him false hope that would be even worse.

"Jake, I'm sorry but I just…" He raised his finger to my lips to silence me. I stopped speaking straight away and merely gazed at him. Then so suddenly that I didn't realise what was happening he had my face held snugly in his large palms and his face inches from mine. I started to breath very roughly and I felt the blood creeping up towards my face.

Then he kissed me. With passion, with desire. I felt limp in his arms. No, I thought to myself, I can't do this, not to Edward. But I was mesmerized by the kiss and fell into a daze. Jacob finally broke away and I began to gasp for breath.

"I'm sorry Bella, I couldn't help myself." He said, clearly ashamed at his actions. But my thoughts were clouded; the kiss had taken me by surprise. I was still caught up in the moment and without realising what I was doing I wrapped my arms around Jacobs's neck and kissed him back. He was so shocked he fell backwards off the log and onto the sand but that didn't stop me. I intertwined my fingers in his hair and pressed him into me. I couldn't help myself; I was suddenly full of so much passion. Jacob, finally coming to terms with what was happening became more relaxed and allowed his arms to glide down the arch of my back. He rolled us over in the sand and he was suddenly above me, supporting his weight with his arms. He began to slowly make his way down my neck and across my collarbone. I moaned with anticipation as he pulled down the sleeve of my shirt and kissed my shoulder. But suddenly I realised what I was doing and pushed him off of me.

"Oh no, I should never have, I'm so sorry Jake." He sighed and sat cross-legged beside me.

"Edward…" He muttered. I nodded and put my knees up against my chin. I couldn't believe what I just did. I love Edward, or at least I thought I did. Of course I did, but then why was I doing this? Nothing made sense anymore. He stood up off the ground and offered me his hand. I took it and he helped me of the sandy floor. We walked to my car in silence.

"Jake, I, I…sorry." I hung my head in shame. He merely looked at me and nodded his head in understanding.


	2. Chapter 2

chapter 2.

The drive home back towards Forks was pure hell. I replayed what had just happened over and over inside my mind and not once did I find a justifiable reason for my actions. I couldn't face Edward but I knew I had to. But what would I say? He would sense that there was something wrong the moment I walked through the door. As I pulled up to my house I spotted his silver Volvo tucked away behind the trees. I sighed. What was I going to do? I slowly opened the door and jumped down onto the pavement. Just as I was about to put the key in the lock the door open and there Edward stood before me. He took me in his arms and kissed me deeply.

"I missed you." He whispered in my ear. I gave a weak smile and straightened myself out.

"Yeah, I missed you too."

"What's the matter? You seem preoccupied." Edward gave me a questioning look and I had to turn away before I foolishly blurted everything out. I knew that I had to tell him but I wasn't ready just yet.

"It's nothing. I'm just feeling a little light headed. I think I better go lie down."

"Of course, I'll leave; you need some peace and quite." I smiled gratefully at him as he walked towards his car and waved as he drove passed. Just as I was about to head upstairs the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Bella? It's Jake. I think we need to talk" I sighed, I thought so too but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

"Yeah we do. But do we have to right now?"

"Oh is he there?"

"No he's not here, I just, cant." I heard Jacob take a deep breath before answering me.

"Of course. I'll see you later Bella."

"Yeah, bye Jake." I hung up the phone and slumped down into the sofa. I reached for the television remote and tried to take my mind off things. The channel flicked onto one of those soapies and there was a love triangle between a woman, her lover and her best friend. Was the whole world trying to mock me?

I switched the television off and tried to sleep. Sleep came mercifully and I was consumed into a curtain of darkness.

When I woke it was the early hours of the morning. I sat up off the sofa and glanced around the small living room. There, sitting in the corner was Edward, watching me with curious eyes.

"Ahhh finally she awakes." He said playfully. He stood from the armchair in the corner and sat down beside me. With his icy hands he held my face close to his and kissed me.

"Feels like forever since I've done that." He smiled my favourite crooked smile, how could I possibly resist him now? I kissed him back and ran my fingers through his bronze hair. He pushed me back and took a long breath.

"Well you seem a little, excited." I grinned at his tone.

"I've just missed you is all." And with that I pushed myself back onto him.

I kissed his perfect jaw line as he ran his fingers down the arch of my back. I felt his hands creep around to my chest as they slowly began to unbutton my blouse. As he removed my shirt his coldness on my bare skin sent shivers racing down my spine. Softly, he bit down on my earlobe as he placed one firm hand beneath my hair. I tilted my head back and breathed in sharply. He slowly made his way down to my chest placing light kisses on my body along the way. I lay back onto the sofa and he lay above me, being careful in every movement. Eagerly, I tugged at his shirt and he willingly pulled it off, over his head. I quietly gasped as I looked upon his god-like figure. He chuckled at my reaction but continued to place kisses over the top of my chest. He lifted his hand to my shoulder and gently pushed my strap off my shoulder and lifted my body with ease as he unhooked my bra. My mind began to scream out for more and I couldn't help sighing, a sigh full of love and lust. I felt the corners of his mouth turn into a slight grin but that only made me more eager. I rolled us over so I was on top of Edward and pressed my half naked body onto him roughly. Our legs intertwined and as did our arms. I bit my lip as I ran my hands across his sculpted chest and down his muscled arms. The moon began to fall in the sky as the time passed. We had expressed our love by making it.


	3. Chapter 3

i realise that in the last chapter yes, bella probably should have been hurt but this isnt real, its not all exact im just having a little fun and so it all might be a little off lol.

Chapter 3

As day broke I slowly opened my eyes. I quickly found my blouse and pulled it on, hoping Charlie wasn't awake yet. I tiptoed upstairs to check and thankfully he was sound asleep. I sighed, relieved and went get some breakfast. As I was shovelling down my fourth piece of toast I realized I hadn't eaten at all since yesterday morning. I tried to slow down and consume my food in a proper manner but my hunger was overwhelming and I quickly ate the rest of my breakfast. Once I was finished I rose from my chair and hesitated as I reached the phone. I had to talk to Jacob, I thought to myself. I had no idea what he would be thinking about my actions yesterday. Calling was the mature thing to do. But I didn't want to do it.

I took a deep breath and just as I was about to press the first digit I heard a loud knock on the front door. I quickly placed the phone down, grateful for the delay but as I opened the door and looked at the tall dark figure before me I wasn't feeling so grateful anymore. I looked behind me and took a step towards Jacob and quickly closed the door behind me.

"What are you doing here?" I whispered accusingly. I was angry; he knew better then to just show up on my doorstep like this.

"Bella I, I, just needed to see you. I just want to know what's going on." He replied, clearly telling the truth.

"I'm sorry Jake…but I don't think I can tell you, because I don't know myself." I looked up into his wide eyes and felt safe all of a sudden. He placed his left hand on my shoulder and stoked my cheek with his right.

"Okay then. I understand. But Bella, I love you, remember that." He quickly turned away from me and headed back into the direction of La Push. I merely stared after him. I didn't know what to do, or say for that matter. I felt weak and my knees began to buckle, my legs gave way and I collapsed onto the railing, grasping tightly onto the pole. He had just said he loved me, as if it was a casual thing. I couldn't rap my head around it. What did he think saying that would mean? That I would come running to him? That I would leave Edward? Or did he just say it so it was out there and I knew…everything was so confusing. I tried to stand and steadied myself against the pole and I slowly sat myself down on the porch steps. I put my head in my hands as a silent tear rolled down my cheek. I didn't know what was happening. I couldn't control the feelings I was having towards both Edward and Jacob. I needed time. I just had to wait it out and see what would happen.

Minutes past, then hours, but i still didnt move. I stared blankly at the road infront of me without speaking. I heard a branch breaking to my side and quickly turned to see what was happening. Coming out through the forst was jacob.

"I thought you left Jake." I sighed, turning back to stare at the road.

"I was about to. But then i saw your reaction and stayed to make sure you were alright." He replied sincerly.

"You waited all this time just to make sure i was alright?" His kindness sent a ping straight to my heart. He was to good to me, i knew. I didnt deserve him, or Edward for that matter. I sighed. I felt more tears trying to escape from my eye. I let out a deep breath and let the tears fall. Once jacob saw the moisture pouring from my eyes he rushed over to me and pulled me into a tight bear hug. He rocked us back and forth and stroked my hair gently.

"Bella, dont cry. Its going to be alright i promise." He said reassuringly. I rested my head on his shoulder and his body warmed me. I hadnt realised how cold it had gotten the entire time i had been sitting out there. And then with everything that was happening, his kindness and understanding i couldnt help but feel stronger for jacob.

"Jake?" I whispered.

"Yeah? Is something wrong?" He asked clearly concerned. I laughed quietly at his reaction.

"No jake, nothing is wrong, everything is just, perfect." I relaxed my body and he pulled me closer. I heard jacob take a deep breath and his chest heaved. He slowly raised his hand and placed it beneath my chin and turned to face me. I looked at him, knowing what was about to happen...and knowing i wanted it to.He pulled my face up to his and as our lips met i felt, happy. It was what i wanted and i turned my body to face him during our embrace. I took his other hand and held it tightly in mine and placed my other arm around his neck. We stayed like that for a long while. Just sitting there kissing, touching, holding each other. It felt so right.

As the sky dakened Jacob finally stopped us and stood quietly. He held my hand and raised me to my feet. Swiftly he kissed my palm and then let go of my hand. As he stepped of the porch and onto the path i quietly whispered, "i love you too Jake."

As he walked off into the night i could see that he was grinnning, i laughed knwoing he heard me.


End file.
